I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
