New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
