Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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