Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
