I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Never joke about your clitoris.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
