yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize