Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
