guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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