she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dear god my vagina.
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