Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
