Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
