so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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