i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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