We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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