I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
