Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
