I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
