thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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