hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
