No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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