What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
