That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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