We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
