I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
