RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
