My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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