Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
