Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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