one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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