Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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