At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize