I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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