You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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