he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
