right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize