You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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