You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I deserve this hangover.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
