Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
