I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
