hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
