Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
