READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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