You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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