I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That accounts for only three of the penises
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
