so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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