I heard we made out
i think my tv is drunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So many bounce houses so little time
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize