Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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