I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
