ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
