I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
