let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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