You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
