i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
