He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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