I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
