somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
