Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
