It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
