she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
