We're facebook friends in real life
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
