I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
