I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I sprained my soul last night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
