It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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