I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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