Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize