feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
